Who speaks better English – Asian or Briton?

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Asian : No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Asian : Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Asian : S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Asian : No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Asian : (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Asian : Don’t be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Asian : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Asian : Don’t want la…

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Asian : You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here.
Asian : Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Asian : See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Asian : Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Asian : Wat happen Why like that….

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you,
Asian : like that also don’t know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Asian : Celaka u

Software Engineer and his Wife

Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife – would you like to have some snacks?
Husband – hard disk full.

Wife – have you brought the saree.
Husband – Bad command or file name.

Wife – but I told you about it in morning
Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife – at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband – sharing violation, access denied.

Wife – I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband – data type mismatch.

Wife – you are useless.
Husband – by default.

Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband – the only user with write permission.

Wife – what is my value in your life?
Husband – unknown virus detected.

Wife – do you love me or your computer?
Husband – Too many parameters.

Wife – I will go to my dad’s house.
Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife – I will leave you forever.
Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife – it is worthless talking to you.
Husband – shut down the computer.

Wife – I am going
Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.

Thumb represents your —                                       Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your                     Siblings
Middle finger represents your                                 Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your                       Life Partner
& Last (Little) finger represents your                       Children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together –  back to back

Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb – tip to tip
(As shown in the figure Above)

Now, try to Separate your Thumbs (representing the parents)…, they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong (Sorry but its the Truth), and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)…., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)…., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).

You will be surprised to see that you just CAN NOT ..,

Coz Husband &Wife have to remain together all their lives – through thick and thin.. !!

ISN’T THIS A LOVELY THEORY.. ??